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Restored By God

As I surface, I forget to breath.

Backwards and forwards, never progressing,
Smashed between compromises,
Suffocated,
Not expected to build or get better,
Just expected to move
So they know I’m still alive.
How strong are these walls?
Are they holding back the flood
Or do they let the slivers in?
Cut glass oceans that I could be speared beneath.

I am nothing anyways.
Only a vapor above the depths.
I melt away, once I touch the ocean-
But the movement makes me think I’m something.
A whole life amounts to nothing
Without the Giver of Significance,
As everything stays as nothing
Without the Giver of Something.
My life is a drop pulled up from an ocean
And pulled down again,
Disappearing.
Only God can make me weightless,
I am a shadow drifting,
I am the wind in the open door,
I am gone, gone-

Time is not slacking,
Its pace is tracking dirt everywhere,
Leaving mountains ground up in the ocean,
Your power moving and ancient as nothing else can be.

And here I am, slacking,
Covering distance in a circle,
Studying every broken piece that didn’t fit,
Every crowded day full of shit,
Every clouded haze,
Every carnal craze-

I’m tired
And backwards.
I’ll pull my insides out
Through my teeth
And spit the corruption out.
God will put me back on my feet
As I say I’m sorry.

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